Life is short just live it to the fullest. Even when you are dating a person, you are in that relationship because you love that person and it makes you happy to be in love. But when your point of affection, your source of happiness turns into a tormentor, you have every reason to be very worried. When did things start changing for the worse? What really went wrong? And why for heavens sake should you stick to an abusive relationship? Why would you allow a person to trash and trample upon your very basic rights? An abusive dating relationship is unhealthy. It is a relationship sitting on a powder keg. It can go off any time. It is a time bomb waiting to explode unless very urgent measures are taken to arrest the situation before it goes out of hand.
An abusive dating relationship shows there are disparities between the couple which can either be bridged or the divide is too wide to fill. Understanding the root cause of the problem is important in order to comprehend this weighty issue. A dating relationship is a two way traffic. Partners compliment each other. One partner's needs are met and fulfilled in the other. It is so mutual and symbiotic you feel bereaved when your mate is not there. What i am trying to say here is that compatibility is the key word. It is what glues two people together. An abusive dating relationship is an indicator of incompatibility. What would drive you to abuse a person you "love". If your partner is abusing you, try and see where you went wrong. Also evaluate your partner, how he relates with you, his background. Maybe he was brought up in an abusive relationship or he was abused in his childhood.
Sometimes a woman stay in an abusive dating relationship for the sake of their children. What would happen if she calls it quit? She becomes hesitant fearing the repercussions her children will face in case of a separation. But what would bridge this gap? Can this couple be reconciled and be able to live again harmoniously and in love? It depends with the two parties concerned. Their is no issue however contentious that cannot be discussed and solved. However if the feelings of attraction, love and affection are no longer there, then the relationship is irreparable. You cannot change the way a person feels towards something. Quit and look for a new beginning.
Your partner could be trying to pass a message to you. He could be showing you a red light. That it is high time you went separate ways, only that you don't seem to pick the signal. He doesn't want to tell you in black and white that go and never turn back. The spark that kept the fire burning is no longer there hence there is no reason to stick together. When in an abusive dating relationship, it is wise to always have an exit avenue. Be prepared psychologically that you can quit and go your separate way. If your partner is abusing you he also does not respect you. You mean nothing to him. Do not stick there, move on. It's your life. You might never know what you have been missing until you quit that relationship.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project ABUSIVE DATING RELATIONSHIP Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At ABUSIVE DATING RELATIONSHIP
Saturday, March 1, 2008
How To Preserve An Interesting And A Happy Marriage by Francis K. Githinji
When two lovebirds tie the knot, they are glued up together for life. This means that they will share most of their time together. Sometimes things get so monotonous and they need to be boosted . To afford an interesting and a happy Marriage some extra effort to keep the fire burning is needed. To keep the marriage fresh all the time. Some marriages seem to die overnight. let this not be your fate. With extra commitment and selfless agendas you can make your marriage more interesting.
Are you just thinking of marriage? I know you do not want a try and error kind of a thing. In order to succeed in marriage, you must get the trick of how to maintain an interesting and a happy Marriage. Choose a partner who will help you realize your dreams. The choice of a partner is one decision which can mess up your life or make it an island of peace. I highly advice you to go for a beautiful and young soul. It is no wonder to see a partner advanced in years yet so young in spirit. Such a person will forever remain in full bloom regardless of the advancement in age. Such a partner will keep things interesting since everything new is embraced with interest and new ideas are part of him or her.
What is your marriage based on? The platform you base your marriage on is very important. If it is based on love you have less to do otherwise if it is for convenience you really have a lot to do. It is logic to find fun in marriage if it is driven by love. Convenience advocates for selfish ways. When one partner dictates what is to be done, things are not done out of interest but out of compliance or obedience. For an interesting and a happy Marriage, discuss you actions and establish an agreement. This keeps things interesting.
To make sure any flower remains fresh and blooming, you have to remove the withering leaves on the stem and the ones submerged in water. This reduces the chances of rotting. In marriage too, avoid accommodating small things which might be poisonous to your relationship. An interesting and a happy Marriage requires you to shun bad behaviors which might turn your partner off. Cleanliness is an instance which might make your partner to view you in bad light. To keep your marriage interesting, try hard to avoid monotony because it will kill your relationship. You might have a marriage but no relationship.
Change the way things happen after a while to keep things interesting. A good example is eating out or sleeping out when you can. Hey, i have also discovered that it is not all about perfection but affection. Do not try to act an angel to your partner. Try as much as possible to improve your wanting areas but be who you are! It breeds a very interesting and a happy Marriage! By this i mean you might want to give an impression that you are slow to anger and you do not quarrel. In the process you might be forced to put up with unbecoming behavior in your mission to keep up the impression.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Interesting And A Happy Marriage Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Interesting And A Happy Marriage
Are you just thinking of marriage? I know you do not want a try and error kind of a thing. In order to succeed in marriage, you must get the trick of how to maintain an interesting and a happy Marriage. Choose a partner who will help you realize your dreams. The choice of a partner is one decision which can mess up your life or make it an island of peace. I highly advice you to go for a beautiful and young soul. It is no wonder to see a partner advanced in years yet so young in spirit. Such a person will forever remain in full bloom regardless of the advancement in age. Such a partner will keep things interesting since everything new is embraced with interest and new ideas are part of him or her.
What is your marriage based on? The platform you base your marriage on is very important. If it is based on love you have less to do otherwise if it is for convenience you really have a lot to do. It is logic to find fun in marriage if it is driven by love. Convenience advocates for selfish ways. When one partner dictates what is to be done, things are not done out of interest but out of compliance or obedience. For an interesting and a happy Marriage, discuss you actions and establish an agreement. This keeps things interesting.
To make sure any flower remains fresh and blooming, you have to remove the withering leaves on the stem and the ones submerged in water. This reduces the chances of rotting. In marriage too, avoid accommodating small things which might be poisonous to your relationship. An interesting and a happy Marriage requires you to shun bad behaviors which might turn your partner off. Cleanliness is an instance which might make your partner to view you in bad light. To keep your marriage interesting, try hard to avoid monotony because it will kill your relationship. You might have a marriage but no relationship.
Change the way things happen after a while to keep things interesting. A good example is eating out or sleeping out when you can. Hey, i have also discovered that it is not all about perfection but affection. Do not try to act an angel to your partner. Try as much as possible to improve your wanting areas but be who you are! It breeds a very interesting and a happy Marriage! By this i mean you might want to give an impression that you are slow to anger and you do not quarrel. In the process you might be forced to put up with unbecoming behavior in your mission to keep up the impression.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Interesting And A Happy Marriage Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Interesting And A Happy Marriage
How To Deal With A Bad Mannered Man In Your Life by Francis K. Githinji
Hey loving girl, this is for you sweat heart. You might have noticed something about your man which makes you think of giving him a boot. The big question is, how do you you even approach it? To dump a bad mannered man does not simply involve the word go. It is more than that. Many are wasting time staying in sad relationship trying to solicit ways of dumping him. May be it is the striking resemblance between him and of your colleague's baby. May be you have noticed a change of behavior and you suspect he might be engaged elsewhere. Do not wait for more. Damp that Bad mannered man. Do not waste your time trying to win him back. Women have strong gut instincts and when your intuition tells you it is gone, act fast and first. Damp that bad mannered man. What would you rather do? Damp a bad mannered man or be dumped by him? Many will always go for the latter.
It is understandable why you are hesitating to do the damping. May be you have no evidence for your accusations or a clear reason as to why you should leave. The truth is hard to say since it does not work well with your man. Some things are better left unsaid. I know the last thing you want to do is to hurt his self esteem. I beg you sister do not say it plainly. If you can't handle his bad breath cook up a reason. He has invested so much in you and you are in a fix not knowing how to dump that bad mannered man. Do not sympathize with him explain your cause and leave immediately. Staying around might wobble your stand. Many have the habit of using cell phones, notes or even e-mail to pass the message. This shows you are not serious with your mission. A face to face conversation is the best course as much as it might be nerve wrecking. Men rarely believe hearsay and will want to hear it from the horses own mouth. Now you can easily damp a bad mannered man because you do not have to deal with valentine blues. You are delaying the damping to enjoy the valentine. Worse still may be he did not meet the expectations on valentine day. If he did not respond to the only one day in a year he might let you down miserably in future. Women believe they can change their men. This is a big mistake and if you are not care full enough to damp that bad mannered man you might engage in marriage with the knowledge of his not so good behavior. I forgive you to think you can change him but men are resistant to change. This will lead to your disappointment. If you doubt his provision, do not go ahead. Damp that bad mannered man.
Many women tend to throw some hints here and there. Few men will get it. They are poor in reading the labels. In your attempt to pass the message he will take it as female behaviors. You might fall back soon. Attack that bad mannered man head on collision. Tell him or work out a more direct dumping plan. The delay might cost you more than expected.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Bad Mannered Man Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Bad Mannered Man
It is understandable why you are hesitating to do the damping. May be you have no evidence for your accusations or a clear reason as to why you should leave. The truth is hard to say since it does not work well with your man. Some things are better left unsaid. I know the last thing you want to do is to hurt his self esteem. I beg you sister do not say it plainly. If you can't handle his bad breath cook up a reason. He has invested so much in you and you are in a fix not knowing how to dump that bad mannered man. Do not sympathize with him explain your cause and leave immediately. Staying around might wobble your stand. Many have the habit of using cell phones, notes or even e-mail to pass the message. This shows you are not serious with your mission. A face to face conversation is the best course as much as it might be nerve wrecking. Men rarely believe hearsay and will want to hear it from the horses own mouth. Now you can easily damp a bad mannered man because you do not have to deal with valentine blues. You are delaying the damping to enjoy the valentine. Worse still may be he did not meet the expectations on valentine day. If he did not respond to the only one day in a year he might let you down miserably in future. Women believe they can change their men. This is a big mistake and if you are not care full enough to damp that bad mannered man you might engage in marriage with the knowledge of his not so good behavior. I forgive you to think you can change him but men are resistant to change. This will lead to your disappointment. If you doubt his provision, do not go ahead. Damp that bad mannered man.
Many women tend to throw some hints here and there. Few men will get it. They are poor in reading the labels. In your attempt to pass the message he will take it as female behaviors. You might fall back soon. Attack that bad mannered man head on collision. Tell him or work out a more direct dumping plan. The delay might cost you more than expected.
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Bad Mannered Man Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Bad Mannered Man
Social Issues: Nuclear Terrorism, a Very Real Threat by Bill Butler
"We don't know how many there are or where they are, and there is nothing we can do about it." The scene is the White House in Washington, D.C. The president of the United States is speaking to his aides, about the crude nuclear weapons that have now been smuggled into the country. Government security agencies around the world are aware of a plot to build these devices and possess proof that al Qaeda has selected the United States as their primary target. The president and other government officials must now face the likelihood they will know where these bombs are only when they are detonated, and it is only a matter of time!
So goes the narrative of the docudrama Last Best Chance produced by the Nuclear Threat Initiative (NTI). NTI is a public charity founded in 2001 in the United States to strengthen global security by reducing the spread of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons, and to reduce the risk that they will actually be used. Though fiction, the film is based on facts about inadequate security for nuclear weapons and materials that could lead to a scenario like the one portrayed. It was created to increase public awareness of what confronts not only American cities but many major cities around the world.
Although terrorism isn't the only reason to fear nuclear weapons, most experts agree that the possibility these weapons may fall into the hands of terrorists poses the greatest world threat. But are the goals and philosophies of terrorist organizations the only factor that has increased the potential for nuclear catastrophe? Or, does a substantial part of the responsibility lie with bureaucrats at all levels in nations around the world? After all, the lack of focus, cooperation and commitment of resources exhibited by bureaucrats at all levels must certainly contribute to the challenges of coping with this danger.
Michael Kraig, of The Stanley Foundation Courier magazine explores these questions in "Making Counterterrorism a Global Effort." This article provides insight into the efforts of the United Nations to build a strategic framework for response to terrorism. Kraig speaks to the need to provide a universal definition of terrorism and outlines the challenges presented by clashing agendas, the modern media and inadequate education on the subject.
In October 2007 a group of academics, policy advocates, and government officials gathered for the Stanley Foundation's annual Strategy for Peace Conference to discuss options for securing, consolidating and eliminating fissile materials. An informative conference report titled "Lockdown, CleanOut, FissBan," is currently available on the Foundation's Web site.
Terrorism is a heinous crime against society and culture. There is no logical basis, no valid rationale to support its use. Yet it seems to have become the weapon of choice for many radical religious and/or political groups. That a variety of nuclear devices and fissile materials are now spread around the world among an increasing number of nations has added to the potential that terrorist activities may escalate.The Board of Directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists at the University of Chicago has featured the well-known symbolic Doomsday Clock on the cover of each issue since 1947. The clockface is meant to display how close the human race is to "midnight," where midnight represents catastrophic nuclear destruction. Its hands are currently set at five minutes before midnight, having been advanced by two minutes on January 17, 2007. According to Executive Director Dr. Kennette Benedict one of the reasons for advancement of the clock was the growing threat of the use of nuclear weapons by terrorist groups.
Will nothing but a radioactive mushroom cloud over one or more of our major cities awaken the international community to the seriousness of the problem? Obviously, such a catastrophe is not the way to motivate the necessary action.
Is it the cruel hatred of terrorists that has brought us so much closer to a nuclear nightmare that would kill and injure tens of thousands of people? Or is it the lack of an intelligent international response to that threat? It is both, of course. But the problem goes much deeper--it originates in the human heart.
About the Author:
Author, Bill Butler, contributes articles on social issues and society and culture for Vision Media. More information about these and other topics can be found at http://www.vision.org.
So goes the narrative of the docudrama Last Best Chance produced by the Nuclear Threat Initiative (NTI). NTI is a public charity founded in 2001 in the United States to strengthen global security by reducing the spread of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons, and to reduce the risk that they will actually be used. Though fiction, the film is based on facts about inadequate security for nuclear weapons and materials that could lead to a scenario like the one portrayed. It was created to increase public awareness of what confronts not only American cities but many major cities around the world.
Although terrorism isn't the only reason to fear nuclear weapons, most experts agree that the possibility these weapons may fall into the hands of terrorists poses the greatest world threat. But are the goals and philosophies of terrorist organizations the only factor that has increased the potential for nuclear catastrophe? Or, does a substantial part of the responsibility lie with bureaucrats at all levels in nations around the world? After all, the lack of focus, cooperation and commitment of resources exhibited by bureaucrats at all levels must certainly contribute to the challenges of coping with this danger.
Michael Kraig, of The Stanley Foundation Courier magazine explores these questions in "Making Counterterrorism a Global Effort." This article provides insight into the efforts of the United Nations to build a strategic framework for response to terrorism. Kraig speaks to the need to provide a universal definition of terrorism and outlines the challenges presented by clashing agendas, the modern media and inadequate education on the subject.
In October 2007 a group of academics, policy advocates, and government officials gathered for the Stanley Foundation's annual Strategy for Peace Conference to discuss options for securing, consolidating and eliminating fissile materials. An informative conference report titled "Lockdown, CleanOut, FissBan," is currently available on the Foundation's Web site.
Terrorism is a heinous crime against society and culture. There is no logical basis, no valid rationale to support its use. Yet it seems to have become the weapon of choice for many radical religious and/or political groups. That a variety of nuclear devices and fissile materials are now spread around the world among an increasing number of nations has added to the potential that terrorist activities may escalate.The Board of Directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists at the University of Chicago has featured the well-known symbolic Doomsday Clock on the cover of each issue since 1947. The clockface is meant to display how close the human race is to "midnight," where midnight represents catastrophic nuclear destruction. Its hands are currently set at five minutes before midnight, having been advanced by two minutes on January 17, 2007. According to Executive Director Dr. Kennette Benedict one of the reasons for advancement of the clock was the growing threat of the use of nuclear weapons by terrorist groups.
Will nothing but a radioactive mushroom cloud over one or more of our major cities awaken the international community to the seriousness of the problem? Obviously, such a catastrophe is not the way to motivate the necessary action.
Is it the cruel hatred of terrorists that has brought us so much closer to a nuclear nightmare that would kill and injure tens of thousands of people? Or is it the lack of an intelligent international response to that threat? It is both, of course. But the problem goes much deeper--it originates in the human heart.
About the Author:
Author, Bill Butler, contributes articles on social issues and society and culture for Vision Media. More information about these and other topics can be found at http://www.vision.org.
Rediscovering the Language of Values by David Hulme
A British acquaintance formerly in government recently observed that the world is lacking the language of values. He commented further on the need in his current profession for a revival of the terms of ethical discourse. He has been shocked at the inability of leaders of various kinds to apply such language to serious social issues.
Is it merely coincidence that right now a debate is developing in the United Kingdom over the reinvigoration of the traditional family and its responsibility for moral education and the instilling of values in the young? The societal shifts that have compromised the family unit over the past several decades have been blamed for the alienation and associated violence that is plaguing the country. Almost every day the news carries a story about a stabbing or shooting perpetrated by the young on those more vulnerable.
Discussing a particularly brutal attack by a gang of youths on a 50-year-old "best father anyone could wish for," a British detective startled the morning TV audience by admitting, "The police have lost control of the streets." His advice was that no one should resist young hooligans unless sure of overcoming them. Otherwise, he said, "they will kill you." He noted that the British must just get used to the idea that a vast social change for the worse is under way.
All this begs the question: What happened to the principle of treating others as we would want to be treated? It seems obvious that an increasingly materialistic, self-absorbed and morally ambivalent society is failing its children. Can there really be any doubt that without family-based moral teaching, anarchy is the natural outcome?
Opposing voices say the problem is not the lack of education in values and morality but rather the lack of shared wealth. If poverty can be overcome, they believe alienation and street violence will cease. It is both a familiar argument and a delusion that plays to the worst in human nature. And it deeply divides those concerned about social decline. But material possessions are not the ground of moral behavior. There are examples in societies the world over where the less privileged and their children hold on to fundamental human values. Physical wealth may elude them, but they experience the benefits of moral and ethical certainty. In contrast, many in the affluent nations have lost that perspective.
The present world order is dominated by the pursuit of materialism and violence. It is a system that is destined to fail in the absence of the language and practice of right values. In an apocalyptic overview of a violent world beset by false standards, the biblical author John records the anguish of grieving merchants who cry out that "in one hour such great riches came to nothing" (Revelation 18:17). Their trade is in every kind of luxury item, but ominously also in the "bodies and souls of men" (verse 13). It is a system based on the get principle rather than on generosity of spirit.
Jesus stood for very different values. He said, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15, English Standard Version). A lack of such goods does not lead to violence and alienation when right, godly values are in place. On the contrary, there is recognition that the Father will provide all that is necessary for life. Jesus spoke the language of right values and right priorities when He taught, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness [right values], and all these [material] things will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33, ESV).
About the Author:
David Hulme holds a doctorate in International Relations from the University of Southern California with an emphasis on the Middle East. He's the author of "Identity, Ideology and the Jerusalem Question" (Palgrave 2006) and the blog Causes of Conflict. He is president of Vision Media Productions and chairman of Vision.org Foundation. Please email David at dhulme@vision.org.
Is it merely coincidence that right now a debate is developing in the United Kingdom over the reinvigoration of the traditional family and its responsibility for moral education and the instilling of values in the young? The societal shifts that have compromised the family unit over the past several decades have been blamed for the alienation and associated violence that is plaguing the country. Almost every day the news carries a story about a stabbing or shooting perpetrated by the young on those more vulnerable.
Discussing a particularly brutal attack by a gang of youths on a 50-year-old "best father anyone could wish for," a British detective startled the morning TV audience by admitting, "The police have lost control of the streets." His advice was that no one should resist young hooligans unless sure of overcoming them. Otherwise, he said, "they will kill you." He noted that the British must just get used to the idea that a vast social change for the worse is under way.
All this begs the question: What happened to the principle of treating others as we would want to be treated? It seems obvious that an increasingly materialistic, self-absorbed and morally ambivalent society is failing its children. Can there really be any doubt that without family-based moral teaching, anarchy is the natural outcome?
Opposing voices say the problem is not the lack of education in values and morality but rather the lack of shared wealth. If poverty can be overcome, they believe alienation and street violence will cease. It is both a familiar argument and a delusion that plays to the worst in human nature. And it deeply divides those concerned about social decline. But material possessions are not the ground of moral behavior. There are examples in societies the world over where the less privileged and their children hold on to fundamental human values. Physical wealth may elude them, but they experience the benefits of moral and ethical certainty. In contrast, many in the affluent nations have lost that perspective.
The present world order is dominated by the pursuit of materialism and violence. It is a system that is destined to fail in the absence of the language and practice of right values. In an apocalyptic overview of a violent world beset by false standards, the biblical author John records the anguish of grieving merchants who cry out that "in one hour such great riches came to nothing" (Revelation 18:17). Their trade is in every kind of luxury item, but ominously also in the "bodies and souls of men" (verse 13). It is a system based on the get principle rather than on generosity of spirit.
Jesus stood for very different values. He said, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15, English Standard Version). A lack of such goods does not lead to violence and alienation when right, godly values are in place. On the contrary, there is recognition that the Father will provide all that is necessary for life. Jesus spoke the language of right values and right priorities when He taught, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness [right values], and all these [material] things will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33, ESV).
About the Author:
David Hulme holds a doctorate in International Relations from the University of Southern California with an emphasis on the Middle East. He's the author of "Identity, Ideology and the Jerusalem Question" (Palgrave 2006) and the blog Causes of Conflict. He is president of Vision Media Productions and chairman of Vision.org Foundation. Please email David at dhulme@vision.org.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
